In the past, I've run sessions on "Rationally Connected Conversations" (RCC) an adaptation of Marshall Rosenberg's "Nonviolent Communication" (NVC). In one session I included Jeff Brown, a Certified Trainer in NVC, to discuss "How to say 'That's BS' in RCC." I...
The ideal relationship is open, honest, and equal. If you find that someone has lied to you or evaded, it puts the whole relationship in question. But I've noticed that some people jump to the conclusion that another person is dishonest without establishing it...
Whenever I hear myself or someone else saying, "I have no choice," I challenge that idea. You always have a choice -- and owning your power of choice has huge benefits. When you think you have no choice, that just means you've ruled out the other options that you see....
Perhaps the most important lesson I've learned in life is to treat struggle as an alarm that warrants your immediate, full attention. By "struggle," I mean "to proceed with great difficulty and effort." [Merriam-Webster] You struggle because the task is difficult...
A friend once told me about a man he knew who never interrupted. Call him the super listener. You could go to this super listener for business advice, and he would sit and listen to you as you talked and talked, never interrupting. Then when you were finished...
A member of the Thinking Lab came to a consult the other day to discuss a situation from work that was bothering him. I blithely suggested he needed introspective work — meaning he needed to identify the deep rational values at stake underlying his feelings. I suspect...
Realists point out that if you want to live in the world that exists, you need to accept facts. Idealists point out that you can change the world that exists — if you take the appropriate action. These two perspectives needn’t conflict.
I admit to being a fanatic who looks to thinking as a solution to all problems. I look for a psychological cause for everything that happens to me. And I look for a thinking process to help me deal with everything that happens to me. If I cut my finger, yes, I put on...
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