Aspirational thoughts can be very motivating — if you believe them. By an aspirational thought, I mean any statement about your ability to achieve something in the future, something that you haven't achieved in the past. It could be a prediction, such as "I will lose...
When you believe you have more knowledge and/or experience than another person, it can be tempting to give him advice. Sometimes he even asks for it. But advice is not as helpful as you might suppose. If you haven't worked to understand the exact problem, your advice...
Emotional resilience is your ability to recover quickly after you get triggered, so that you can take a purposeful, value-oriented emotion. The more emotional resilience you have, the less you fall into defensiveness or emotionalism. Why emotional resilience is...
A few years ago, I spent some time thinking about the meaning of Christmas. I am afraid I shocked my Christian neighbors when they realized I was looking for the secular meaning of Christmas, not the story of the baby in the manger. I think there is a wider,...
What skills are needed to follow through on a plan for the day? A plan that was made up at least one day before? And actually get the tasks accomplished in the time allotted for them? That is a question I have been working on for some years. The idea of deciding the...
I recently read The Practicing Mind by Thomas Sterner, and I highly recommend it. The topic is how you continue to grow your skills to a higher and higher level by means of systematic practice. He is a musician and concert-piano tuner and reached a high level of...
Do you speak up about issues in your sex life with your romantic partner? Or about political issues with close friends and family who disagree with you? Or about fundamental philosophical differences with friends from work or school? Many people are afraid to discuss...
Emotional presence is a sometimes elusive state that is variously called being "in the moment," or "in the flow," or "centered," or "grounded," or "present." I think of it as a state of mental poise, which you achieve by being fully aware of your surroundings and your...
Every emotion needs to be introspected to identify the deep values at stake. Don't misunderstand this advice. I am not recommending that whenever you get triggered, you should stop whatever you are doing to go to your desk to work through an introspection tactic. My...
Last week I wrote about the problem with setting twofers as goals. Drafting that article took longer than I planned, as I mentioned. What I didn't say was that it took 5x as long as I planned! 14 hours! That was ridiculous in some ways, and okay in others, because it...
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