A role model is someone who exemplifies your ideal in some area. Though you can learn concrete skills from role models, there is something more important you get from them: an integrated sense of the kind of person you want to be. That is what is irreplaceable. When...
Guilt is the emotion that you feel when you believe you have failed to live up to your own moral standards. It is perhaps the most enervating emotion. It makes you want to curl up in a little ball to block it out and avoid it. But that is the worst thing you can do....
An "affirmation" is a positive statement about your own knowledge, skill, or values, which you memorize in some way. Some common examples are: I am a good person. I know enough to do this job. I can take the next step. Some self-help books recommend you collect such...
Most advice on time management needs qualification. This caveat applies to the oft-heard advice to decide how long you will take for a task and then just do it in that time. This idea sounds appealing. Consider how much easier your life would be if you could simply...
Years ago, I read a book by a colleague who walked the Camino, a 500-mile trek over the Pyrenees in Spain, ending at the cathedral in Santiago. He reported that the next-to-last day was the hardest. He was tormented by the thought of all the unfinished projects of his...
If you want to do creative work at a high level, you need to spend significant time developing your skills. There is no substitute for practice. Some people would say you need self-discipline to develop the skills. Others would say you need self-control to put in...
A deadline is the date a task needs to be finished. It is different from an estimated completion date in that there are real negative consequences for missing the target. For example, the deadline for filing taxes in the US was May 17 this year. The penalties are...
Your greatest success comes from setting and achieving major goals. The biggest mistake that people make in pursuing such goals is that they don't build motivation into every step. The effort you put in needs to pay off in some way to ensure you persevere to the end....
People often ask me how to make themselves do something they think they're supposed to do. As a public service, I will answer that question. To make yourself do something, you need to shut out any thoughts that conflict with taking the action. That includes any...
People sometimes come to me, distressed that they resist using "thinking on paper" or some other tactic. They are sure it would help them, they know that they can take the steps, but whenever the time comes to use the tactic, they feel a wall of resistance. This...
Way back in 1998, when I wrote my first article on what to do when you get stuck on a difficult thinking problem, I offered one general piece of advice: Identify the problem. As Louis Sullivan said, "the problem contains and suggests its own solution." Although I now...
Forgetting is real. It takes special work to remember an idea or an intention, particularly to remember it at the time you need it. The default is that you don't. This issue is much wider and more important than remembering names of people you meet or items on a...
The #1 general-purpose problem-solving tactic I teach is "Thinking on Paper." If you are not familiar with it, get my freebie, "Thinking Directions Starter Kit." If you are confused, overloaded, uncertain, blank, conflicted, or stuck in any way, I recommend you turn...
“Don’t Panic” “Keep Calm and Carry On” Are these two pieces of advice equivalent? No. If “Keep Calm and Carry On” is your mantra, you are more likely to maintain your equilibrium in turbulent times, such as the current coronavirus crisis. Why? First, “Keep Calm and...
Thanks to Covid-19, many people are being asked to work at home. I thought I'd share a few thoughts on how to concentrate at home in the present circumstances. Some of the concentration challenges at home are obvious. There are clear distractions: Your family and your...
People often say that you learn from failure. But I think you learn primarily from your mistakes, not from your failures. There's a big difference. You can make a good decision, based on sound reasons, and still have it result in failure. For example, there can be...
If you've been following my work, you know that I advocate pursuing all goals on the basis of "motivation by love," not "motivation by fear," because it's the only kind of motivation that can lead you to consistent success over the long-term. That's great in theory,...
While doing a competitive analysis to build my business, I checked out the Self-Coaching Scholars program created by Brooke Castillo. It looked interesting, so I joined and have been educating myself in her methods. One of the new tools I’ve adopted is the use of the...
Some years ago I read an interesting book titled The Origin of Everyday Moods: Managing Energy, Tension, and Stress, by Robert Thayer. The bottom line from the book is you need to distinguish (and manage) four identifiable productivity states: Relaxed & Energized...
A friend once shared with me how her 17-year-old daughter adapted some advice for her own purposes. It's an inspiring story with several lessons. The young woman was training to become an opera singer — an ambitious, long-term goal. It was particularly challenging for...
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