"Empathy" is a widely misunderstood concept. Understanding it properly is the first step to transforming your relationships with other people and yourself. Empathy is not the same as sympathy. Sympathy is a feeling you have in relation to someone else. You feel...
Do you find the term "anxiety" a bit puzzling? It's always been described to me as a non-specific fear. My fears are always specific, so I never knew quite how to differentiate fear from anxiety until I read an article about anxiety by Brooke Castillo that clarified...
I've become a fan of Brooke Castillo's "Self-Coaching Scholars" program. I find her methods to be a valuable complement to the ones I have already developed. She's helped me speed up how I deal with distracting, unproductive emotions, while still maintaining the...
In order to live a happy life, you need to see yourself achieving your values on a daily, weekly, and annual basis. For this purpose, I recommend that you adopt some regular practices. The daily practice is the "3 good things" process. The annual process is an annual...
Forgetting is real. It takes special work to remember an idea or an intention, particularly to remember it at the time you need it. The default is that you don't. This issue is much wider and more important than remembering names of people you meet or items on a...
We're moving into the next phase of the coronavirus crisis. We're getting a glimmer of the long haul. To help you flourish through tough times, I recommend you take proactive action to ensure that you have sufficient pleasure in your life. You need positive...
I am more upbeat than many of the people I’ve spoken with recently. This is true, even though in many cases, my expectations for the post-coronavirus future are more pessimistic than theirs. I’ve seriously entertained some pretty dire outcomes, but instead of letting...
Last winter I got a surprise. I saw for myself that some people are deeply motivated by a desire for destruction, as opposed to a desire to gain values. Perhaps I have led a sheltered life, or maybe I accept the people I meet at face value. But I took for granted that...
Here's a daily practice I learned from Martin Seligman, author of Learned Optimism and Authentic Happiness. Once each day, write down three good things that happened in the last 24 hours. You can write them before going to bed or first thing in the morning. You can...
Wishful thinking doesn't solve problems. But it can transform your motivation when you are not "in the mood" to do the next task on your agenda. I stumbled upon this fact while on a long trip. At a certain point, I thought I should dig into four annual reports I had...
If you've been following my work, you know that I'm interested in making conversations on controversial topics more constructive and less contentious. I think I'm making progress, but, yesterday I had a contentious conversation with someone who I am in basic agreement...
Your top priority is not necessarily the most important task on your list, nor is it necessarily the most urgent one. It is the one you decide you should do first--prior to the others. Often, as soon as you identify your top priority by naming the reason it's #1, you...
I'm reading my friend Alan Zimmerman's book, The Payoff Principle, which explains the process he teaches for achieving "what you really, Really, REALLY want." He is inspiring me on many levels, including convincing me to take a second look at some practices that have...
Burnout is a common problem. When you "burn out," you lose the motivation to do productive work that you have done in the past — and used to enjoy doing. There are three common sources of motivation: a personally meaningful (selfish) purpose, an inspiring person, or...
I’ve been asked to explain the difference between my Eyes-Wide-Open Decision Making Process1 and a typical decision process. The short answer is — my method offers a way to validate difficult decisions, when you can’t reach certainty. Many decision methods can speed...
I had a call with a member of the Thinking Lab the other day. He was concerned that he was reverting to some old behavior. He had changed jobs, and as a result he was very busy ramping up his knowledge and activity in the new position. He said it had occurred to him...
Some years ago I recommended the daily practice of identifying three good things that happen each day. This idea, which I got from Martin Seligman, helps you develop a more optimistic mindset. The original tip is also on the blog. In addition to making you more...
I am halfway through The Beck Diet Solution: Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person. Judith Beck's exercises, combined with MyFitnessPal, are helping me adhere to a lose-a-pound-a-week diet. I don't agree with everything in the book, but I give it a qualified...
Whenever I hear myself or someone else saying, "I have no choice," I challenge that idea. You always have a choice -- and owning your power of choice has huge benefits. When you think you have no choice, that just means you've ruled out the other options that you see....
A friend once told me about a man he knew who never interrupted. Call him the super listener. You could go to this super listener for business advice, and he would sit and listen to you as you talked and talked, never interrupting. Then when you were finished...
Do you need help getting your employer to reimburse you for the cost of your tuition?
Just let me know — I can help with the paperwork.
I can provide you a formal invoice to receive reimbursement from your employer.
Or, if your company prefers to pay the cost directly, I can accept a purchase order and invoice the company.
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