Many people get stuck prioritizing, because to say "yes" to one thing is to say "no" to another. That "no" feels like giving up something that's important. Faced with the need to prioritize, your subconscious exclaims: "But I want them all." Of course you do. Let's...
Here's a common problem: you wake up at night, working through a difficult conversation you are going to have. You find yourself wide awake, in a loop where you keep trying out the conversation in different ways. Or maybe it's not a conversation, it's a tricky...
One of the problems of having many projects at once is that there's a tendency to churn — to work a little on one, then a little on another, without making good progress on any. The general solution is to prioritize: to choose one project (or one chunk of a project)...
Now that I live in Florida, I pay a lot more attention to hurricane season than I used to. The season started early this year, which put me in mind of the lessons I learned when Superstorm Sandy hit New York City in 2012. At the time, my husband and I were living in...
A while back, I realized I needed something to help reinforce my intentions when I didn't seem to be following through on them. For example, I intended to work on a big project, but I found myself doing some little tasks, or taking a longer break than I really wanted...
It happens to all of us. You decide your priority, you sit down to work on the project, and for one reason or another you go nowhere. Maybe you're not doing the work — you're resisting it. Or maybe you're doing it, but slogging along without much to show for your...
Whether you grow or stagnate as you get older depends on how and when you rethink settled issues. An issue is settled when you evaluate it in the full context of your knowledge and conclude it is true or false. Some conclusions get settled for life. Philosophical...
I like to quote Voltaire, who said, "No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking." And true to that idea and my calling, whenever I have a problem, I think about it. A lot. In depth. Until I have a solution. This is a virtue. It is my willingness...
At times you will face conflicts between short- and long-term priorities, such as: "I want to __[insert major goal here]____, but right now I need a job." "I want to start ___[insert new long-term project here]____, but right now I'm just keeping up with day-to-day...
If you want to do creative work at a high level, you need to spend significant time developing your skills. There is no substitute for practice. Some people would say you need self-discipline to develop the skills. Others would say you need self-control to put in...
A deadline is the date a task needs to be finished. It is different from an estimated completion date in that there are real negative consequences for missing the target. For example, the deadline for filing taxes in the US was May 17 this year. The penalties are...
I've had every motivational problem ever. So when a participant in Launch 21 reported that she suddenly didn't feel like doing anything, I knew exactly what she was talking about. I call this being in a "funk." Suddenly, you live in a world that has nothing to offer...
"Emotional resilience" is the ability to bounce back from emotional upheaval. You may have a moment of despair, but you recover quickly. Your buttons may be pushed, but you are able to be curious about your reaction and refocus on values. The key to emotional...
To resolve conflict, you need to understand the root cause. It's biological. We have two completely independent motivational systems. One system, traditionally called “motivation by love,” exists to motivate action toward values. A value in the psychological sense is...
A goal is an intention you set to achieve a particular outcome. Here, in summary, is my approach to goals. Goals on different timescales need different standards of doability, different degrees of certainty, and different depths of passion. Long-range goals can be as...
When Thinking Lab members tell me their task is hard, I hear alarm bells in my mind. Invariably, I find they are making a difficult task harder than it has to be. A difficult task is one that requires a special mental effort to complete. It may require all your...
When we played 20 Questions as a family, the first question was always, “Animal, vegetable, or mineral?" If you are trying to identify an object, it falls into one of those categories. When you are mentally stopped, unable to concentrate, you should ask an analogous...
"Snap out of it" is pretty useless as a piece of advice. Typically, when you tell someone to "snap out of it," he is overreacting emotionally, or obsessing about something, or letting himself be distracted. Your advice won't be welcome if he disagrees with your...
In a recent article, I wrote: "Should" is a moral concept. When you say you "should" do something, you are saying it is the moral thing to do. If you, as I, ascribe to the moral code of rational egoism, "I should" means: Based on everything I know, including all of...
I didn't set out to teach time management, but I sure talk about it a lot in my programs. That's because each aspect of a time-management system takes firsthand thinking to make it work. Consider the first basic problem in time management: keeping track of what you...
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