A Thinking Labber wrote: "Contrary to your advice to have one emotionally-challenging initiative, I have 4-5 major challenging initiatives at work and 3-4 in my personal life, none of which I feel I can realistically defer without significant consequences." This is an...
In Launch, some people come with money goals. In a few cases that makes sense, but not usually. A well-set goal needs to guide and motivate the action necessary to achieve it — and provide a lasting satisfaction with every step along the way. Money goals often don't...
“Buffering” means doing a pleasurable activity to avoid feeling negative feelings about something else. A “buffering” activity offers instant gratification plus instant relief from unpleasantness. That can be an addictive combination, hence binge watching, binge...
A Launcher recently told me that her initiative was going well and she'd added another project. Then she asked, "What's your short advice for how to be more productive, because I don't have time for the long version." In other words, she was now at least marginally...
Guilt is the emotion that you feel when you believe you have failed to live up to your own moral standards. It is perhaps the most enervating emotion. It makes you want to curl up in a little ball to block it out and avoid it. But that is the worst thing you can do....
The participants in my Launch program do a daily exercise to develop emotional resilience. They each choose a different tool to use, and some are experimenting with "Five Bright Spots." I had explained this tool briefly in a previous article, but from helping several...
A while ago, one of the Launchers came to a coaching call with a problem. He had done fabulously creative work in analyzing some financial trends — by working through the night until 5:00 a.m. In one respect, this was progress. He had come to an earlier coaching call...
Flailing is my word for a particular pattern of unproductive effort: you try, and try, and try — harder, and harder, and harder — and you still don't achieve your goal. Some people call this hitting your head against the wall. It sure feels like it when you're...
An "affirmation" is a positive statement about your own knowledge, skill, or values, which you memorize in some way. Some common examples are: I am a good person. I know enough to do this job. I can take the next step. Some self-help books recommend you collect such...
Courses and articles on creativity drive me crazy. None of them get at what I see as the real issue. They all focus on brainstorming quantities of ideas instead of explaining what creativity really is and how to direct it. For example, you may have participated in a...
In the last few articles, I've argued that a central purpose integrates your life, that it fits into a real life, that it needs to be a long-range productive goal, not something else, and how to identify your central purpose. I've asserted that it is important to a...
Working out your central purpose is one of the most selfish things you can do. It has the biggest effect on your future and your happiness. It’s not a quick process. If you already have a general direction but need to clarify the personal significance for yourself,...
In the previous article, I opined that only a productive purpose can serve as a a central purpose. Before going deeper into the positive point, I'd like to address some common questions. People ask, why not make recreation or relationships or emotional well-being your...
In the last article, I described a central purpose as a long-range productive goal that is stylized and utterly selfish. I gave a few examples of how different people in the same profession could have significantly different passions. And I argued that everyone, from...
A central purpose is your top productive goal. It’s stylized and utterly selfish, not just the name of your profession. One lawyer might have as her central purpose to defend companies against frivolous lawsuits. Another might want to get innocent people out of jail....
Most advice on time management needs qualification. This caveat applies to the oft-heard advice to decide how long you will take for a task and then just do it in that time. This idea sounds appealing. Consider how much easier your life would be if you could simply...
To achieve a long-term goal, you will need to put in effort across weeks, months, and even years. That requires motivation for the long haul. If your motivation flags, you need to get strategic. You need to create a virtuous cycle of effort so that you are naturally...
Whenever we experience a conflict, it can be difficult to figure out how to move forward. On the one hand, it is never right to mindlessly suppress what you think is “emotion” and go by “reason.” On the other hand, it is never right to mindlessly go by “emotion” and...
In my previous article, I recommended that you have a value orientation toward your past actions even if you made a mistake. If you're feeling bad about something that happened in the past, there is something to learn about it and something to heal. Emotions only...
In my previous article, I argued that you need to motivate all action by reference to values rather than threats. I explained how you justify the goal in terms of values before you act and then stay focused on gaining values while acting. In this article you will see...
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