In helping some Thinking Labbers make accurate, precise value-judgments, I was reminded of a song I learned as a child. The lyrics as I remember: Nobody loves me. Everybody hates me. I'm going out and eat worms! The first one was easy. The second...
Virtues: The How, not the What
Moral self-criticism doesn't need to be deeply painful, not if you interpret virtues as telling you how to be happy, not what kind of person you are. What??? I'm not saying moral self-criticism is going to be pleasant. A moral person is always going to feel some guilt...
A Constructive Attitude Toward Failure
We had an interesting conversation about "failure" on a Launch call recently. One of the coaches for the program asked if we shouldn't call a "failure" a "setback" instead. Calling the result a "failure" brought up a lot of old baggage and feelings of discouragement...
Clearing Emotional Baggage About Flip-Flopping on a Decision
I recently answered a query on LinkedIn: New LinkedIn data shows that the number of “boomerangs,” or employees who left a company for a certain amount of time and then returned, is rising — and it’s even higher at top employers. We’d...
The First Choice of the Day
As part of improving my sleep, I'm on a campaign to jump out of bed at a standard wakeup time each morning. Although I'm pretty consistent at getting up, sometimes I resist getting out of bed. I have applied everything I know about motivation to creating a process for...
Activating a Context Versus Triggering a Habit
Based on some comments I made in a coaching call, a Thinking Labber wrote to me as follows: I'm fascinated by the idea that self-sacrifice is an easily activated context and not a habit. I'd love to learn more about that, but I'm not sure of the...
Raising Baseline Happiness
In preparation for a new series of classes on "The Work of Happiness" in the Thinking Lab, I have been doing some high-level thinking about how you raise your baseline happiness. As I wrote in How Do You Measure Happiness?, your "baseline happiness" is the overall...
The Active Mind
There are three kinds of actions that mark a person as having an active mind. 1. You look beyond the obvious options and the obvious explanations to make sure you've got the full picture. 2. You do the introspective work to make your own values explicit, especially...
Are Patience, Humility, and/or Obsession Needed for Success?
When you read self-help books, you can expect that you will need to analyze them carefully to separate the wheat from the chaff. Many such books can be very helpful if you look at the practical advice and rethink the validation of it for yourself. Too often, the...
The Work of Happiness
I derive my ideas on happiness from Ayn Rand, who wrote, among other things: "Morality...is a code of values to guide man’s choices and actions—the choices and actions that determine the purpose and the course of his life." (AR, The...
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