Emotions are designed to draw your attention and control action — to make that action feel urgent and inevitable. Once you learn to manage your emotions, you can harness this capacity to motivate sustained action toward your most important long-range goals. And you...
I’m reading an interesting book by Peter Block, which opens with this quote from him: There is depth in the question “How do I do this?” that is worth exploring. The question is a defense against the action. It is a leap past the question of purpose,...
I recently reread Essentialism by Greg McKeown, a book I recommended in 2019. This bestseller encourages you to do “less but better.” I liked the book on my first reading. I appreciate it more now because I read it with a different purpose. Back then, I was focused on...
Aspirational thoughts can be very motivating — if you believe them. By an aspirational thought, I mean any statement about your ability to achieve something in the future, something that you haven't achieved in the past. It could be a prediction, such as "I will lose...
When you believe you have more knowledge and/or experience than another person, it can be tempting to give him advice. Sometimes he even asks for it. But advice is not as helpful as you might suppose. If you haven't worked to understand the exact problem, your advice...
Emotional resilience is your ability to recover quickly after you get triggered, so that you can take a purposeful, value-oriented emotion. The more emotional resilience you have, the less you fall into defensiveness or emotionalism. Why emotional resilience is...
A few years ago, I spent some time thinking about the meaning of Christmas. I am afraid I shocked my Christian neighbors when they realized I was looking for the secular meaning of Christmas, not the story of the baby in the manger. I think there is a wider,...
What skills are needed to follow through on a plan for the day? A plan that was made up at least one day before? And actually get the tasks accomplished in the time allotted for them? That is a question I have been working on for some years. The idea of deciding the...
I recently read The Practicing Mind by Thomas Sterner, and I highly recommend it. The topic is how you continue to grow your skills to a higher and higher level by means of systematic practice. He is a musician and concert-piano tuner and reached a high level of...
Do you speak up about issues in your sex life with your romantic partner? Or about political issues with close friends and family who disagree with you? Or about fundamental philosophical differences with friends from work or school? Many people are afraid to discuss...
Emotional presence is a sometimes elusive state that is variously called being "in the moment," or "in the flow," or "centered," or "grounded," or "present." I think of it as a state of mental poise, which you achieve by being fully aware of your surroundings and your...
Every emotion needs to be introspected to identify the deep values at stake. Don't misunderstand this advice. I am not recommending that whenever you get triggered, you should stop whatever you are doing to go to your desk to work through an introspection tactic. My...
Last week I wrote about the problem with setting twofers as goals. Drafting that article took longer than I planned, as I mentioned. What I didn't say was that it took 5x as long as I planned! 14 hours! That was ridiculous in some ways, and okay in others, because it...
When your goal is really a “twofer" — two benefits you think you can get for the price of one project — it often turns out that you don't get either benefit. That's because a "twofer" doesn't guide action the way a properly integrated goal does. What makes something a...
When you set a challenging goal, you need to plan multiple ways to motivate yourself to ensure you follow through. There will be days you are distracted or have low energy. There will be unforeseen difficulties. Some of the necessary steps will seem like drudgery. You...
Are you still keeping your New Year's Resolutions? And/or working toward the goals you set for this year? Or did your plans flop? If you're thinking they flopped, you need a new way to set goals — one that motivates you to follow through instead of breeding...
In order to gain power over your own motivation, you need a rational morality — a self-consistent morality — that guides all of your choices and actions in a way that enables you to live, productively and happily, in long-term loving relationships over the course of...
I'm an advocate of routines — highly individualized routines. A good routine ensures you do what's best for you, without a lot of time or trouble. For example, routines for getting up and going to bed protect your time for sleep. When you're sleepy — in the morning or...
In the age of streaming video and audiobooks, many people turn to listening as their primary way of learning new ideas. This has some cognitive risks that aren't generally considered. If you are concerned with your operational intelligence, i.e., your ability to think...
Elsewhere I have argued on the importance of having a central purpose. To refresh your recollection, "a central purpose is the long-range goal that constitutes the primary claimant on a man’s time, energy, and resources." (Leonard Peikoff, OPAR). Recently I've been...
Powered by WishList Member - Membership Software