A Value-Based Approach to Interrupting Others
A friend once told me about a man he knew who never interrupted. Call him the super listener. You could go to this super listener for business advice, and he would sit and listen to you as you talked and talked, never interrupting. Then when you were finished...
Introspect So You Can Take Action
A member of the Thinking Lab came to a consult the other day to discuss a situation from work that was bothering him. I blithely suggested he needed introspective work — meaning he needed to identify the deep rational values at stake underlying his feelings. I suspect...
Three Observations About Accepting Facts
Realists point out that if you want to live in the world that exists, you need to accept facts. Idealists point out that you can change the world that exists — if you take the appropriate action. These two perspectives needn’t conflict.
The Key to Concentration
I had a long talk with a Thinking Lab member the other day. He was concerned about his power of concentration, which wasn't all he wanted. He often got distracted and tired when he worked for a couple of hours. So I gave him my spiel on concentration, and thought I...
Using “Small Moves” as Leading Indicators
In recent years, I've incorporated ideas from The Twelve Week Year (by Brian Moran) into my routines, and found them very helpful. My top takeaway from this book is the idea of setting quarterly goals rather than annual or monthly goals. When you set goals you intend...
Admit You Have No Plan
In a one-on-one coaching call a few months ago, Roger (not his real name) reported that he was being pulled off course into doing unimportant work. I asked him if he was taking a few minutes to plan the day in the morning. We had previously discussed how to plan the...
The Real Value of Small Steps
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." The importance of taking small steps is well known. It's the most likely advice you'll get if you're bogging down on something. "Try taking a small step." And yet, I have often found this advice unhelpful. I'm...
Achieve Your Lifetime Goals by Thinking About Them Every Year
"Change your smoke detector batteries when you change the clocks to or from Daylight Savings Time. Otherwise you'll forget." This little trick suggests a way to help you achieve some of the most important goals you'll ever set: your lifetime goals. Your lifetime goals...
Making Sure Constructive Criticism Sticks
Mark Murphy has a great short article titled "Don't Make Constructive Criticism so Soft That People Miss Your Message." In it, he criticizes the feedback sandwich, which I learned long ago in Toastmasters. It's simple: when you are giving feedback, first tell...
The Dishes Won’t Wash Themselves
It is not enough to know that washing dishes is a good thing, that it helps you keep a clean kitchen. The dishes won't wash themselves. The same is true of every mental tool. No matter how long you have used a tool and no matter how convinced you are that it works,...