Concretizing Values 1: Values in the Objects Around You
Many of the motivational tools I recommend involve clarifying your values. When you are fully clear on a value, you not only see logically that the value contributes to your success and well-being, but you also feel some pleasure as you contemplate it. That pleasure...
The Value of Role Models
A role model is someone who exemplifies your ideal in some area. Though you can learn concrete skills from role models, there is something more important you get from them: an integrated sense of the kind of person you want to be. That is what is irreplaceable. When...
On Choosing Expert Help
Doctors disagree on when to prescribe medication. Sleep experts disagree on whether you should take naps. Time-management experts disagree on whether you should schedule all of your time. Therapists disagree on whether you should trace issues back to childhood...
View Your Critic as the Canary in the Coal Mine
Noticing and learning from negative feedback is crucial to self-improvement. Unfortunately, negative feedback can come in an unpleasant and even an unjust form. People who give unsolicited criticism are not always the most supportive of creatures. There are...
Have a Warm, Fluffy Towel Available When You Take a Polar Bear Plunge
A Thinking Labber wrote: "Contrary to your advice to have one emotionally-challenging initiative, I have 4-5 major challenging initiatives at work and 3-4 in my personal life, none of which I feel I can realistically defer without significant consequences." This is an...
Three Reasons Money May Not Be the Goal to Set
In Launch, some people come with money goals. In a few cases that makes sense, but not usually. A well-set goal needs to guide and motivate the action necessary to achieve it — and provide a lasting satisfaction with every step along the way. Money goals often don't...
What You Can Learn From Tracking Your Own Buffering
“Buffering” means doing a pleasurable activity to avoid feeling negative feelings about something else. A “buffering” activity offers instant gratification plus instant relief from unpleasantness. That can be an addictive combination, hence binge watching, binge...
How to Be Effective When You’re a Bit Overcommitted: The 80:20 Rule
A Launcher recently told me that her initiative was going well and she'd added another project. Then she asked, "What's your short advice for how to be more productive, because I don't have time for the long version." In other words, she was now at least marginally...
Dealing with Earned Guilt Loops
Guilt is the emotion that you feel when you believe you have failed to live up to your own moral standards. It is perhaps the most enervating emotion. It makes you want to curl up in a little ball to block it out and avoid it. But that is the worst thing you can do....
Do You Want to Add Bright Spots to Your Day?
The participants in my Launch program do a daily exercise to develop emotional resilience. They each choose a different tool to use, and some are experimenting with "Five Bright Spots." I had explained this tool briefly in a previous article, but from helping several...
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