Paradoxically, celebration and mourning* are similar processes. They involve similar steps and achieve similar purposes. And they are similarly misunderstood and neglected, despite their critical importance to a joyful life. Neither celebration nor mourning concerns...
In my previous article, I argued that you need to motivate all action by reference to values rather than threats. I explained how you justify the goal in terms of values before you act and then stay focused on gaining values while acting. In this article you will see...
Tactic: Transforming the Pain of Unmet Needs I’m writing this during the coronavirus crisis. A lot of people are suffering. A lot of people are in emotional pain. So I thought I would share a powerful technique for reducing one’s suffering, called “Transforming the...
Every New Year's Day, I run a “Thinking Day” in the Thinking Lab, to provide coaching for members who are setting goals for the new year. To make sure you set goals from a position of strength, I recommend you systematically review all the past year's accomplishments...
All About Emotions In this series of classes, we discuss everything you need to know about emotions to deal with them rationally. This includes topics such as: The psychological cause of emotions A model of how the subconscious creates emotions Why human emotions...
For years, I've been arguing against a simplistic "just do it" approach to getting things done. That approach uses pressure as the prime motivator. But pressure sabotages your ability to think clearly and creatively. The alternative I developed is self-direction, a...
Tactic: Empathy Bath When you are chilled, a hot bath brings your temperature to normal. When you have a fever, a cold bath can bring it down. When you are tense, self-doubtful, jittery, or otherwise triggered, an "Empathy Bath" can bring your emotional state back to...
I use "old baggage" as a generic term to refer to any recurring motivation that gets in the way of pursuing your goals in the present. For example, writer's block is caused by old baggage. So is fear of conflict, which stops you from having the conversations you know...
In the most recent article in this series on happiness, I mentioned that the next topic would be embracing causality. To be happy, you need to understand the causal factors that contribute to your present emotional state so that you can enact the causes that will...
My mother had a few one-liners she used to encourage us. If you were in a funk, she would say, "You need to stand on your head." If you faced a daunting task, she would say, "Effort, St. Swithins!" I never did learn how to stand on my head, nor why St. Swithins should...
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