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Achieve Your Lifetime Goals by Thinking About Them Every Year

“Change your smoke detector batteries when you change the clocks to or from Daylight Savings Time. Otherwise you’ll forget.”

This little trick suggests a way to help you achieve some of the most important goals you’ll ever set: your lifetime goals.

Your lifetime goals are the things you’d like to do, either in the next 3-5 years or just “sometime.” Write a book? Visit Hong Kong? Be on a TV show? The list may be long, as it includes both the fun things and the serious things you want to accomplish.

Perhaps you haven’t called these “lifetime goals,” and perhaps you’ve never tried to write them down. But you have them–everybody has them. They are the goals you daydream about in your spare time, and, if you never pursue them, they are the omissions you regret the most at the end of your life.

To make sure you accomplish them while you’re still on the planet, I recommend you follow a practice like the smoke alarm rule. Choose an annual event as a time to review your lifetime goals to see how you might achieve some of them in the upcoming 12 months.

The annual review solves two cognitive problems.

First, you need to bring your lifetime goals nearer to the top of your mind so that you can spot opportunities for achieving them. You need to make a new list, and review last year’s.

Over the course of a year, lifetime goals fade into the background where they rarely occur to you. So go through your list asking, “can I plan this into the upcoming year?” Even goals you can’t pursue this year will start percolating, and you will be much more likely to notice a new opportunity, if it arises later in the year.

Second, you may need to challenge old assumptions about how and when you can accomplish the goal. Those old assumptions may be subtly preventing you from seeing new possibilities.

The context changes. Old decisions go out of date. New opportunities arise.

Maybe you were waiting until you completed a training program (or your kids did) before starting a business. Did you (or they) finish? Maybe you were concerned about the political situation in Hong Kong or Egypt and were waiting for a better time to visit. Has the situation changed? Yearly is a good frequency to check.

If you don’t revisit your goals, you’ll be stuck operating on old “can’ts” and “won’ts” that are out of date. The things you wanted to do in your lifetime will be buried in forgetfulness.

So, pick a yearly event that works for you. Maybe your birthday is the ideal day. Perhaps the first day of school is the day you get down to the business of planning the year. Or maybe your summer getaway offers the reflection time you need.

Then, think about your goals every year at that time. Because you don’t want to forget to achieve your lifetime goals.

Note: There is a simple procedure for identifying lifetime goals in chapter 5 of Alan Lakein’s  book, “How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life .” See my recommendation: http://thinkingdirections.com/articles6Lakein.htm

 

December 31, 2015 in | Permalink | Trackback | Comments

Deja Vu All Over Again

“How did I wind up here again?” We’ve all had the experience: a bad situation keeps repeating itself. Maybe it’s a confrontation with a particular person that keeps coming up and going badly. Maybe it’s the feeling of being overloaded by the administrivia again–even though you cleared it out last week. Maybe it’s seeing a project fizzle to a stop again. You keep gearing up on it, taking a step, and it never gets any momentum.

When you are feeling “deja vu all over again,” chances are you are “flailing” on the task. Flailing means trying the same approach again and again, without getting a different result. When this happens, you always need to step back, and change something farther back in the process. The mistake is always a few steps back, not right before you get in the mess. Here are a few ways you can take some steps back:

  1. Ask the experts–they often know a better way to approach problems. For example, there are great books on how deal with confrontation–and they all involve doing preparation before the confrontation occurs. (One I like is Difficult Conversations by Stone et. all.)
  2. Use a creativity process. Brainstorming and other creative processes are designed to help you generate alternatives. Brainstorming comes in many forms. A good book on it is: The Leader’s Guide to Lateral Thinking by Paul Sloane.
  3. Sometimes you can just experiment. Write down how you always do the task. Then systematically change the process piece by piece to see what makes a difference.

The bottom line is: when you are flailing (doing the same thing, again and again, and expecting a different result), you need to stop what you’re doing and make a radical change.

Unless you like having deja vu all over again.

 

October 29, 2015 in | Permalink | Trackback | Comments

Align Strategic Decisions with Long-Term Priorities

Marcia Yudkin is a veritable sage who has taught me many things about marketing and writing. She’s given me permission to share this article from her “Marketing Minute” which concretizes the need to align strategic decisions with your long-term priorities. Mr. South does not see the implications of his choices.

In “The Millionaire Next Door,” Thomas Stanley and William
Danko contrast wastrel “Dr. South,” who spent more than 60
hours to get the best deal on a $65,000 Porsche, and frugal
“Dr. North,” who spent just a few hours six years ago to buy
a three-year-old Mercedes for $35,000. “Dr. North” spends
30 hours a month on his investments, compared to four hours
a month for “Dr. South.”

Although both men earn roughly the same as medical
specialists, the Norths have a net worth more than 18 times
that of the Souths. Such is the impact of strategic
decisions.

In marketing, what do you spend your time and resources on?
Like “Dr. South,” are you researching and bargaining hard
on expenses that feed your ego and make you look impressive?
Or like “Dr. North,” do you focus more on your long-term
sustainability?

To be a quietly well-heeled “Dr. North” in marketing, make
sure you are serving customers who can and will stick with you,
and that you’re doing your utmost to keep them happy.

Marcia Yudkin is the author of 6 Steps to Free Publicity, Marketing for Introverts and many other books and ebooks. She helps entrepreneurs and business owners attract ideal clients, turn their knowledge into products and earn what they deserve. Sign up for her free weekly ezine, the Marketing Minute, at www.yudkin.com.

 

 

July 16, 2015 in | Permalink | Trackback | Comments

Resources for Learning to Get to the Point

“Getting to the Point” in communication is an art. I don’t know any book or course that truly explains it. I think there are three parts to developing the skill.

First, you need to know your purpose in the conversation. This involves knowing what you want to get out of it, and also what the other person wants to get out of it. The best book I know for clarifying this issue is, Getting Through to People by Jesse Nirenberg. It has great ideas but it is out of print. (Women–you’ll need to overlook the fact he writes to men, not women. It’s one of only two books I’ve ever read that seemed to do that.)

Second, you need to know how to condense a complex thought into its essence. At some level, you can do this if you ask yourself to put the thought in one sentence. But if your sentence is still long and complicated, you need more practice formulating clean sentences. This is something you can learn by practice.

The best book I’ve found to practice this is Joseph Williams Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace, which includes exercises. (He also has a version without exercises, called Style: Toward Clarity and Grace.) Although this book is on writing in general, a lot of space is devoted to making individual sentences clear and direct. His biggest tip: make the grammar match the action. So, put the agent as the subject of the sentence, and put the action as the verb.

(If that amount of grammar is too complicated for you, I recommend doing the exercises in Rex Barks: Diagramming Sentences made Easy by Phyllis Davenport.)

If you want an in-depth course on this, I used to teach this skill as part of a course on “condensation,” which is a study skill for extracting the main points and theme from a piece of writing. It’s currently only available for Deluxe and VIP members of the Thinking Lab.

Third and finally, you need to notice during the conversation that it’s time to get to the point–and then “one-sentence” your thought or use the “pyramid” technique. This may require you change long habits of speech!

The best way to practice this is to join a Toastmasters club.  (http://www.toastmasters.org) These clubs are all over, and each meeting has a section called “Table Topics” in which you are asked a question and give an extemporaneous 1-2 minute answer. Every time you do this, you get a chance to practice “getting to the point” at that moment.

I hope this doesn’t make “Getting to the Point” sound ridiculously complicated. Like most skills, the best way to get better is by trying to do your best and learning from experience. Books help– but only if you have been trying on your own and can read the book in light of your firsthand experience.

 

July 7, 2015 in | Permalink | Trackback | Comments

Preparing for a Difficult Conversation

Whenever you have a difficult conversation ahead, it pays to get a quick overview of the issues sooner rather than later. That first quick overview helps you gain perspective on the situation, and identify problem areas so you can avoid mishandling the conversation and damaging the relationship. An excellent resource for this is the book Difficult Conversations by Stone, Patton, & Heen.

In the book, Stone and his associates explain a several-step process to prepare for a “difficult conversation” about someone’s misbehavior. Their in-depth process can be translated into these four overview questions:

a) What’s my story? What impact has the situation had on me?

b) What’s their story?  What might their intentions have been?

c) What have we each contributed to the problem?

d) What do I hope to accomplish by having the conversation?

When you have a difficult conversation coming up, it’s worth spending three minutes answering each question (12 minutes total) to get a good quick sense of whether you’re prepared for the conversation.  The more you’ve thought about both perspectives, the better you will be able to keep the conversation amicable and on track.

I recommend this book, and there is much more detailed information in it (including advice on whether to have the conversation at all). But if you haven’t read it, you can still benefit by getting a quick overview using these prepared questions before you you jump into the conversation.

 

 

June 9, 2015 in | Permalink | Trackback | Comments

Recommendation: The Marketing Minute

Often I recommend books in this newsletter. Today I’d like to recommend a person: Marcia Yudkin, a business and marketing consultant who I have learned a tremendous amount from over the years.

One of my favorite resources from Marcia is her weekly “Marketing Minute” newsletter, which you can read in one minute. She has let me share a sample which is timely and relevant to this audience:

The Marketing Minute
by Marcia Yudkin, Marketing Expert and Mentor
Marketing Minute newsletter

It’s almost that time of year when people resolve to change. I agree with blogger James Clear that neither willpower nor discipline are needed to create the new you.

Instead, connect what you already do or experience with what you want to start doing, and the new habit gets established easily.

“Write down two lists,” Clear explains his report, Transform Your Habits.  “On the first list, put all the things you do each day without fail, like getting in the shower in the morning or turning out the light at night, and on the second, list things that happen to you each day without fail, like a traffic light turns red, a commercial comes on TV, etc.  Then make these be prompts or triggers for new routines.”

For example, if you shower every morning and want to start flossing, place floss right next to the shampoo in the shower and use it there.  If you check your overnight orders each morning and want to start blogging, click right from the order-checking to your blog and write a sentence or a paragraph right then.

 

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That piece of advice is relevant to everyone on the list. Here are a couple of other recommendations that might be appropriate for some of you:

Writers: My all-time favorite product of Marcia’s is Become a More Productive Writer, a 4-session audio course that I went through some years ago. I did every single exercise, and I recommend you do, too. You can see my testimonial for it on the page.

Solopreneurs: I have worked with Marcia for years. She has gazillions of ideas for how to market your business effectively. You can see a range of her books and products here. If you want to create an online information business, I recommend her upcoming course, Launch Your Information Empire, which includes personal coaching from her. She has excellent advice for solopreneurs.

December 28, 2013 in | Permalink | Trackback | Comments

Book Recommendation: Leave the Office Earlier

I’ve recommended three top books on time management in the past. (Getting Things Done, How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life, and The Pomodoro Technique). Each of those explains a system or philosophy of time management.

If you are looking for an integrated system to implement, read one of them. But if you want a shot in the arm to spur you to be more productive at work so you can have more time at home, read Leave the Office Earlier by Laura Stack.

The book reads part as diagnostic manual, part as encyclopedia. It opens with a 100-item questionnaire you can use to find your “Productivity Quotient.” The 100 items are then organized into chapters around 10 topics including “Reduction” (as in getting rid of things),  “Discipline,” and  “Vitality” (which is on the role of health in productiveness). Within a chapter there are sections of 2-3 pages each for the relevant item from the questionnaire.

Each short section is interesting, practical, and encouraging. You get specific ideas for how to solve specific problems. The advice runs the gamut from pointers on when to throw something away, to strategies for working with people who process information differently than you do. I suggest reading a few sections at a time. Put it on your bedside table and dip into it every night.

I recommend this book for its consistent can-do, optimistic approach, coupled with its fresh, essentialized look at the many issues involved in productivity. I had seen many of the ideas in some form or another, but Laura Stack presented them in an interesting way that helped me see new value in them.

For example, there are many prioritization tools that involve drawing four quadrants and labeling them, such as this:

Another variation uses “have to/don’t have to” across the top, and “want to/don’t want to” across the side, instead of urgent/important. You list your tasks in the appropriate quadrant. If possible, try to avoid tasks in the 4th quadrant: “don’t want to and don’t have to,” or “not important and not urgent.”

Laura Stack labels her quadrants differently: “high vs. low value” and “deadline vs. no deadline.” This changes the point of the exercise.

This is a subtle difference, but it changes the focus. The point becomes: try to work on high value projects with no deadline! I find this labeling much clearer and more motivating–because it focuses you on your long-range, high value goals.

I found the most interesting section in the book was the chapter in which she distinguished working hard from workaholism. Her advice had more credibility than other treatments I’ve read, because she is clearly pro-hard work. (I think you can tell that from the book. I’ve met Laura Stack, so I can testify to it. She is a productive dynamo.)

Taken together, the advice filled me with optimism and practical ideas for shifting the balance in my life. If things have gotten a bit out of control, I think you’ll find it helpful, too.

 

November 8, 2013 in | Permalink | Trackback | Comments

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